Booked to sing the national anthem at a Vancouver 86ers game, the precursor organization to the current Whitecaps, while waiting to perform I noticed a poster for a Canada v.s. Guatemala FIFA World Cup qualifier upcoming at the same stadium a couple of weeks out. I asked my 86ers contact if they had anybody lined up to sing the Guatemalan national anthem. They did not and were wondering where they might find someone. “I’ll do it” I said. “You know it?” he asked clearly surprised. “No I said but I have a Guatemalan friend who will teach it to me. I was booked on the spot. 

It turned out that I had a work colleague from El Salvador who also knew the Guatemalan anthem. Between the two of them, neither of whom were singers, they set about teaching me the words and the melody. Taking no chances I confirmed the melody the ‘tune’ if you will, by locating a copy of the sheet music. My foreign language performance repertoire, since expanded, was at that time limited to high school French and a smattering of Welsh. (Don’t ask!). 

Not only was I faced with learning and memorizing the Spanish words and pronunciation, I had also to memorize the melody. Since I would be performing acapella there would of course be no instrumentation to guide and support me. I wondered if I had perhaps bitten off rather more than I could chew. Fear of losing the words and/or the melody at centre field in front of almost certainly a sold out crowd (it was) began to haunt me.

I worked hard on the song as did my friends on me. We eventually reached the point where they felt I had the anthem nailed. I could sing it acapella from memory and could hold more or less the right melody. But could I pull it off in front of the crowd? I had more than my usual performer doubts, stage fright, call it what you will and would Guatemalans in the audience understand my hastily cobbled together Spanish? Some of my friends joked that I was the Canadian team’s secret weapon. My Spanish they said might confuse and unsettle the Guatemalan team.

The big day arrived and with plenty of time in hand, I presented myself to my 86ers contact. He seemed strangely ill at ease. Surely I thought he is not as nervous about my performance as was I, although of course he had not heard me sing the piece. He looked me in the eye and said “I’m very sorry Barry but they won’t let us sing the Guatemalan anthem”. It took a while for this to sink in. Finally, after serious pondering and uncharacteristically keeping my calm such as it was, I replied “who are THEY?” “The Canadian Soccer Association, actually their president” he said. It took only nanoseconds for this startling and outrageous news to sink in.

A further nanosecond and I had become a ballistic tenor. There is nothing worse. Especially a small one like me. “Bring him to me right now” I bellowed using my trained stage voice in it’s loudest and full on authoritarian mode. (In a nutshell, like singing done essentially by using precise control of exhaled air using one’s diaphragm, vocal cords and oral cavity). A very tall imposing individual to his credit showed up in very short order. He was wearing what appeared to be a double if not triple breasted blue blazer festooned with various and sundry impressive looking badges and lapel pins. He reached what must have seemed to him a very long way down to me and, catching me off guard, shook my hand.

“I’m from Toronto and believe I owe you an apology” said Mr. President of the Canadian Soccer Association in front of several witnesses. “I’m sure you would do a very good job of it” he went on (I wasn’t so sure) “but we can’t have you sing the Guatemalan national anthem”. “Why might that be” I responded trying to maintain some sort of cool. “It’s because we think it will help them win” was his verbatim response”. 

To say I was dumbfounded at this meaculpan confession is a major understatement. I remember wondering in the moment if, in the ground breaking original Canada Russia hockey series, we had disallowed the Russian national anthem, how long would it have taken for pandemonium if not world war three to break out?

“We can’t not do the Guatemalan anthem” I said with some early confidence. “Yes” he allowed. “We’ve thought of that”. Finding his stride he went on “we’ve found a scratchy old record” (As in LP – remember them?). “It’s just a military band, no words” he emphasized. “We are going to put that on and turn the volume down really low.” I am not making this up! I knew I was beaten. Never fight a battle you can’t win is one of my inviolate adages. I turned on my heel and headed for my seat in the stands. There may well have been a trail of smoke behind me.

Sure enough, the despicably unsporting man and, by association, his ‘co-accused’ Toronto based cronies responsible for fielding a Canadian attempt to tread the hallowed ground that is world cup soccer was true to his word. A scratchy instrumental only LP recording came on barely audible. I stood up and devoid of course of a microphone, belted out the Guatemalan national anthem to the surprise and no doubt bemusement of a number of Guatemalans who happened to be seated nearby. I then cheered for Guatemala. Like a car with a leaking radiator it takes time for even; nay especially for, a small extremely riled tenor to cool down and guess what, Guatemala won!

Should you be looking for someone to sing the Guatemalan national anthem…..