I was recently and rather aimlessly standing on the sidewalk outside the front gate to our house in the East End of Vancouver British Columbia, of course Canada, debating with myself what just might be something useful to do beyond the twiddling of my left thumb. I am ‘Cack-handed’ i.e. left handed as are incidentally, most kangaroos. Just saying. By chance a guy came up to me and asked where could he find the hens? This just before I was planning to walk a couple of blocks to visit what I had recently discovered and had thought, based on its…

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As opposed to an autobiography which is of course an account of one’s entire life, by definition a memoir is a nonfiction narrative in which the author shares their memories from a specific time period or reflects upon a string of themed occurrences throughout their life. This short story hence is a memoir as are the majority of my short stories posted to this blog albeit they are by no means all inherently sentimental! NB: AUTHOR’S WARNING! One paragraph below headed ANIMAL CRUELTY. LICENCED TO KILL! contains and describes in considerable detail a true debatably barely legal animal cruelty scenario.…

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A few months ago and for only the second time in my life, I was pulled over by a police officer whilst driving on a freeway. I was driving at a speed well under the posted limit. My first thought was that the said constable must be plastered. OK that was not my first thought. To be perfectly honest I did not have a clue as to why he had pulled me over. I was not speeding, I was not driving dangerously in any way shape or form and I was not doing drugs and/or alcohol not that he could…

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Living in London UK from 1963 until 1966, along with using the London Underground subway system aka the Tube * wherever and whenever I could, when the subway was not the most viable solution to my immediate travel needs, having elsewhere previously owned motorcycles, I figured that would be a better means of transport than a car given about eight million other people at the time ** were also trying to figure out how to get around London by car and even more challenging, then park it. Especially the latter! Motorcycles and their more benign cousins scooters, are of course…

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Routinely riding a motorcycle when I was in my teens, after a ‘near miss’ accident I decided to switch to cars. I didn’t get very far when the old jalopy I had bought more or less gave up the ghost. In fact I had to pay a not inconsiderable sum to have it towed to the wreckers. My chemistry laboratory job at the time was twenty miles from where I then lived in Northallerton, a small town in a rural area of North Yorkshire England. One of my co-workers lived in the same town and offered me a ride on…

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Years ago when I was relatively young as well as reasonably and appropriately stupid, I became involved in what could arguably be called a criminal act. I did say arguably. I was simply doing a favour for some friends per se. Of course that’s what they all say. However that would never have stood up in court. A group of five or six of my friends had parked their car in a downtown parkade. I had taken a cab to join them. We were all headed to a pub. What else is new when one is male, young and care…

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The first inkling I sensed one windy spring morning many years ago that I was in imminent danger of injuring myself, or worse my pillion passenger as well, was the sound of my motorcycle’s front wheel as it just clipped a particularly high curb my having started a right turn away from it just a fraction too late. This occurring in the UK and hence on the left hand side of the road. I had initiated the turn barely a few seconds too late. We were traveling at the speed limit of 30 mph just exiting Barrow-in-Furness where we both…

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When I was I think about five or six, I had a notion that I would like to learn to play the piano and made it known to all and sundry on the off chance that one day, a piano might miraculously somehow appear in our lower working class north of England home in Barrow-in-Furness Lancashire * our home erring shall I say, on the poorer side of humble. One day a brand new upright piano ** was delivered, it turned out courtesy of my maternal grandmother, my Nana *** as I called her in the British language usage of…

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It must be quite a relief for airline passengers, especially those with a nervous disposition towards flying per se, to hear the word INADVERTENT used when, shortly after landing and upon arrival at the gate, a flight attendant announces over the public address system that the Emergency Escape Slide has been ‘inadvertently’ deployed. Translation, no worries someone screwed up big time. Likely they pressed the wrong button. There is not nor was there an emergency. The slide has simply been accidentally activated. (to considerable expense!)  Emergency slides of course cannot be deployed in flight however, on at least three occasions…

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Now a very long time ago, upon seeing ECILOP in very large letters showing in the offside mirror of my AJS 350 cc motorcycle and thus drawing my attention to the police car disconcertingly close behind me momentarily threw me for a loop. Was the then seventeen year old that was me loosing it? Late for work as usual, I was doing 50 plus mph in a 30 mph zone en-route to Glaxo Laboratories where I worked as a laboratory assistant in Ulverston Lancashire.* (Now Cumbria). A certain well known all be it rather disliked local police officer constable Bellamy…

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